FREED VERSE

you were supposed just to be a guest.
but you turned my body--
                             my mind--
into your home.
and now

milk chocolate syrup
never tasted this bitter.
dregs of sugar on the back of my teeth,
brush till i’m bleedin'
if i want to be able to sleep.

fuller than ever, 
i am already planning for how tomorrow i will wake up 
empty. 

there's a santa monica sunrise
bright outside my window
after checking my morning vitals.
(i didn’t pass out today. it 
was terrifying.)

i know i will need to come back here. it curdles 
my skin
curls
         the corners of my lips.

i’m a cheshire cat in the making:
a phantom smile with yellow eyes 
(not quite topaz)
and an invisible body with a twisted tail
born in striped pajamas.